Day ~8. 31 Day Challenge

Day ~8. 31 Day Challenge

A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

Wow, could this Challenge come at one of the most testing times in my life.

The next few months are going to be so challenging. I am making drastic changes in my life, even as I type this.

Well, I guess since this is a part of the Challenge, and I have to be 100% honest. I might as well tell you exactly what I mean. I am filing bankruptcy. I am ashamed and embarrassed writing about this, also having to go through it. Today, I have met with my lawyer to start my proceedings to finalize my bankruptcy.

I never thought I would have to do this, but as life goes it’s not always easy and some decisions I made in my past are now coming to a head. Believe me, this is something I never wanted to do. I always said I would be different from my siblings and I would be smarter than them when it came to my finances. I take 100% responsibility for proceeding with this. What I don’t take full responsibility for is that I was never taught about my credit and how it can affect your whole life.

I wish that I could go to different schools, explain what I have and am going through, and educate these students on how important your credit really is. When I was in school I was mandated to take algebra, I have been out of school for almost 12 years and have never used algebra. Never was I educated on my credit. I wish they would have, maybe things would have been different. I mean if I was educated on this topic, then maybe I wouldn’t be in the heaping pile of poo that I am in. But, I am. So I will hold my head up and do what I have to.

I can blame anything I want, but when it boils down to it, this is my own doing. I have to take the blame, the responsibility and I have to just put my best foot forward.

That is why this challenge means a lot to me, I will have my satisfied moment, when this is all said and done with. I won’t have to worry about it anymore.

Some may say it’s hypocritical when I complain about people who abuse state aid and get hand out after hand out. And in a sense it is, but I have worked for the same job since 8 days after graduating high school. I have paid taxes since I was 14, working for the Bingo hall. Some circumstances far bigger than getting state aid has led me down this road. I also can tell you, I was denied aid for school because I make too much money (I work for a Non-Profit company) and I have no children (By choice, believe me if I wanted a kid, I could get one). Yet, I pay and file taxes every single year, have worked for the same job 12 years and when I ask my government for some assistance I get zero help toward my education, because of certain factors.

I paid 100% of my education, I struggled and I did it!

I also have my licensing for my CNA coming up. I will feel satisfied when I pass that.

I am satisfied with my life, don’t get me wrong. These are only minor curves in the road for me. I may be embarrassed and feel ashamed but as the saying goes “And this too shall pass”. And it will, and I know now that I have to be active in my finances and I will be educated to not let this happen again. I am blessed in so many ways. So when all this is said and done, I know I can finally feel wholly satisfied. With love, work, finances and life.

I shall rise again. I am a survivor, I am a fighter and I am FABULOUS. My mama didn’t raise a stupid child, I just made stupid choices. Which now, I have learned from. So as I type this now, it feels therapeutic, it feels cleansing. I still may feel some shame, but I hope my mistakes can be someone else’s lesson. Believe me; you don’t want to endure any of this. But if you do, know that I am here to listen.

Love,

Nick