C'est la vie 2011

I know I haven't blogged much over this past year.

This year was very mute, compared to previous years. Don't get me wrong some pretty phenomenal things happened this year. I just feel, I didn't give it my all. Plus I feel like this year was wrapped into a lot of negative things. I want to end this year on a positive note, and make sure my next chapter in life is more positive and something I can look back on in 50 years and I say "Yea I did that" and have no apologies.

I am not going to "try" to make change, I am going to make change. Like a good friend told me not to long ago "When you say try, you're already setting yourself up for disappointment". I need to be the change that I want. I need to focus on the things that really matter. I need to focus on the people that matter. I need to be the person I know I can be. I am not settling.

2012 is going to be a year of defining. Going above and beyond, and not worry about falling, because with falling you have to pick yourself back up. I am tired of being scared of change. If anything "change" should be natural for me, it should be a close friend. So why I am so afraid?

2012 is going to be the year I emancipate ME. I have to focus on the directions I want my life to go. I have to focus on mine and Mikes future and make sure that the positive choices we make together will benefit us. Even if I have to struggle and strive, I know I can do it. I was uniquely made. I've been to hell and back, with a smile on my face. I am a survivor, I am a strong minded person, I am more than the clothes I wear, the bag I carry, the things I have.

Now don't get me wrong, I will always be silly, I will always be upfront and I will always be me. I feel at this age, the things that mattered 10 years ago, don't matter now. Some of those things never mattered at all. I am like a kid at a toy store, I don't know what I want, I just know I want something. Well those things are starting to make more sense to me. Grandma was right "With age, comes wisdom and what is in the dark will come to light".

I have expectations for 2012. For myself, my loved ones and the new chapter I am ready to begin.

No more fear of flying. It's now or never.

Plus (I know I say this in many blogs) I have the best spouse, friends and family a person could ever ask for. There would be NO ME, without them!

I will end this blog with blessings to you all. I wish the best for you all. Hard times will come, and hard times will go. Lessons will be learned. You may fall, but you will get back up. And if you need a helping hand, I will be there.

I love you all.

Nick

p.s My writing bug is back. Thanks to my "supporters" and my readers <3