2012-Present...

 

It’s been quite some time since I last blogged (a little over 2 years).

Life has a way of going by real quick, too quick if you don’t pay attention. This is going to be an extremely long blog as I have a lot to say (and remember I just turned 34 yesterday. I’m no spring chicken).

So let’s get caught up!

Fall 2012: The beginning.

Mike and I started our Journey looking for a new home. We found our realtor Rhonda; she was an absolute God’s send. She put in a lot of man hours taking us from house to house. Even with my constant judgments, she kept ushering us along. We did find a small house at first. Cute, newly remodeled and in a nice area. The only problem was it was too small. I mean so small that I wouldn’t even be able to store my clothes and shoes and directly behind the house were the Hall Rd. railroad tracks. I can pretty much guarantee I would have pissed myself from fear for the first year. Luck was on our side though. The deal fell through.

Looking for our home was no easy task. We looked at dump after dump. We were beginning to lose hope on finding the perfect home for us. I mean some of the places looked like drug dens (which 1 actually was, as were walking through a house and the owner decided to sit at the dining room table and smoke a joint). And so our search continued. We called Rhonda on a Friday evening and told her of a few houses we wanted to see. She said she had 1 more house to add to our list that she thought we might like. The next morning we got up and were not really feeling it. We were tired and pretty much figured the few houses we were going to look at were dumps too. We met Rhonda at the house she thought we would like first. Mike and I pulled into the driveway and instantly knew and WANTED this to be our house. It had everything we were looking for, 3-4 bedrooms, garage, basement, huge kitchen, huge living room and a nice size backyard PLUS closets for all my clothes and shoes. Unfortunately when we went to look inside the Real Estate agent forgot 1 thing. THE KEY! We went and looked at a few other houses and were able to look at “The House” later. During the walk through Mike instantly said “I can see us living here”. Me I thought “Yea, but this place needs some major updating and cleaning”. It was decided. This is the house we wanted. Now, was the hard part? We had to place our bid and hope that everything went in our favor…

 

November: The month I decided to change careers paths. I resigned from ALS. A huge part of me was relieved and the other was deeply saddened. I worked for this company since I was 18 years old. 2 weeks fresh out of high school. I had grown to love people who were once “co-workers” that are now my family. I was leaving and it made me really sad. “My family” threw me the very best going away party. It was filled with laughter, tears and a long walk down memory lane.

I was starting my new career finally using my CNA license. I was going to work in a Hospital and everything was going to be great?

Right?

NOPE!

I hated it. I was depressed and lost. I took all that I could and decided that place was not right for me. I wanted my old job back and “my family”.  Unfortunately (fortunately) I wasn’t able to get my old job back. It was time to keep trucking along…

Winter 2012: “The House”

December was the month we finally heard back from the bank. Did our offer get accepted? Were we actually going to be moving into the house we drove by weekly hoping and praying that it would be ours? We wanted so bad to live across the street from Susie. We wanted to have BBQ’s, family gatherings, anniversaries and to make that house our own.

Well I’m sure you know the answer. YES! Our angel agent Rhonda worked her magic and our offer was ACCEPTED! The only down fall was we had to wait for everything to be put together (records, titles, insurance. You know all the paperwork). But the house was FINALLY ours! Our prayers and wishes were finally heard. We had our home. Mike and I started shopping and picking paint colors. We were elated! Now we just had to wait it out. (It seemed like FOREVER)

I still hadn’t found a job yet. It wasn’t till the end of December that I finally started telling people I was unemployed. It was truly hard to fathom. I’ve worked continuously since I was 14 years old. I was embarrassed and I was losing hope. That was until I got a scathing email from Kathy re: me being stupid. I confessed that life wasn’t treating me so well in the job department and I was jobless. Well her “Mama Bear” instincts kicked in and she offered me to come help at the Bingo Hall. I worked a few shifts and it was just like old times. Except the damn fryers, I was terrified of burning my beautiful face. A few weeks later Mark (Daddy Warbucks) offered me my old job back. I was FINALLY employed. It didn’t (doesn’t) matter how much money I was making. I was back “home”. With people I love and a job I’ve loved since puberty. Things were starting to come together.

Winter-Fall 2013

I continued working my shifts at the Hall and packing all of our earthly possessions. In the spring we were supposed to get our keys. I continued to look for a full time job. That was a pain in the ass, let me tell you. I went on A LOT of interviews and didn’t get any of them. I was hopeful and looking forward to spring when we could finally move into our home. That was until….

 We got an email in early February. Rhonda emailed to inform us that the house would officially be ours by the end of the month. We were flabbergasted! We were getting the keys to our HOME earlier than any of us had expected. We jumped into over drive and on Thursday February 21, 2013 we signed on the dotted line and we were OFFICIALLY HOME OWNERS. We were going to wait till we had the house painted, cleaned and ready before we were going to “move in”. Yea, that didn’t happen. With the help from some amazing people (Mom, Dad, Melissa, Tom, Megan O and Papa Sam) we were on our way to making that “house” our home! With lots of blood (I busted my hands up pretty good removing trim), sweat (Lord was I hot) and tears (from spackling, sanding, moving and everything in between). Our home was finally coming together.

Winter turned to Spring and Spring turned into Summer. The house was coming along lovely. We busted our asses making it what it is today. It was lot of work. Work I wasn’t used too. I mean come on now, I am a prima donna! The only thing my hands were used to doing was shopping, pointing and picking. I had to do MANUAL LABOR. In the end it was all worth it. We had our home.

We took a house that was pretty much stuck in the 80’s and had seen better days and turned it into something far better than it had seen in years or we imagined. We made it our Home.

A month after moving into the house I found a job at an Assisted Living Community. I loved it! I hated working afternoons but I loved the work I did. I met some really awesome people (who became lifelong friends) and I was doing a job I loved. My patients gave me love, encouragement and a job I loved coming to (even though I had some bad days). Unfortunately it didn’t pay well and it had ZERO benefits. Even though that shouldn’t have been the purpose, I still had to make a living. I still kept my eye open for something better and continued working at The Assisted Living and the Hall. Something finally came along and it was an opportunity that I “couldn’t pass up”. A job working in a “Nursing Home”. It had benefits, the morning shift and was going to be great experience utilizing my CNA license.

Right?

Wrong again!

I should’ve known it was bad energy as the day before I started working at this place, my brother in law Ronnie unexpectedly passed away. My poor sister and niece were crushed and there was nothing I could do to make it better. I was batting 0-0.

 It was the absolute worst job and atmosphere I had ever had to experience. I would have rather been a prostitute on 8 mile and hoping I didn’t get an STD than work for that God forsake place! The whole situation still leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I don’t like rehashing that “period”. I did my work and left. It was all I could do. Again, I was on the prowl for something (anything) better than that place. It prevented me from working at the Hall and missing a lot moments that I can’t get back. I was literally exhausted day in and day out. Plus I was beginning to hate being a CNA and the work that I was doing.

In the midst of me hating my job and being miserable.

My best friend Melissa had decided it was time to begin her life and decided to become a traveling nurse. She was moving to Seattle.

My other best friend Angela had a baby , which I hadn’t got to meet yet  because of the “Nursing Home”.

I was shattered. The most important people in my life, lives were changing and there was nothing I could do about it. I was shattered because Melissa was moving and Angela had Jax who I hadn’t even met yet plus my sister and niece were dealing with the loss of Ronnie. I was in a terrible event of unfortunate events. Man was I bad. Mike was so loving and supporting, but not even he could help. I was down and OUT! Even Melissa calling/texting/Skyping 2,000 miles away, Finally meeting Jax, and Guilia’s support wasn’t enough to get me out of my funk.

Toward my 90 day mark (End of Summer beginning of Fall 2013) Guilia told me her job was looking for a receptionist. I didn’t care what it was, as long as I was getting out of that hell hole! I bombarded Guilia with texts and emails daily for her to ask this “Kim” person if I could get an interview. Luck was on my side. My angel Guilia came through for me. After an awful 11 day stretch of “Hell” I got a call from a woman named Amanda and said she received my resume from “Kim” and wanted to set up an interview. The next day I was sporting my best duds and interviewing for a job that I was hoping to land. A few hours later I was going to be gainfully employed and could leave that wretched “Nursing Home” behind. I didn’t even give them the satisfaction of a 2 week notice. They received 4 days. I took all that I could take and was ready to get the HELL OUT OF THERE!!! When I got home from my last day at the “Nursing Home” I walked into my beautiful backyard (which I hardly seen in months as I worked like a dog for an unfortunate and should be closed place). I lit a cigarette and took my CNA license out of my wallet and burned it to ash! It’s sad that a facility (job) made me hate something that I worked so hard for and turn it into something so ugly that I would never want to do it again.

Mike endured my many moods and made sure I was fed and that our house was being kept up. I missed him and being able to enjoy our home.

Plus a little dog by the name of Farrah came into our lives. OMG! I love that dog. Bianca took to her the minute they met. Bianca is a wonderful and protective big (little) sister. Farrah completed our little family and we are so fortunate to have her!

But my Journey continues…

The following week I started back in Mental Health. I was finally back doing the work I am destined for. Even on its worst day, I am grateful and fortunate that I have the job that I have. I worked in Clinton Twp for my training with Heather and would be transferring to the Centerline location. I finally got to meet “Kim” who is my big boss. Kim is one of the most honest, full of integrity and appreciative people I have ever had the opportunity to meet. I strive to be better at my job because she encourages everyone to be better. Heather taught me well and was the first person to make me welcome at the new job. I hold a very special place in my heart for her. Plus we had a good time and I was able to meet some other coworkers. I was sad to be leaving Clinton Twp.

Centerline…

I walked into that office thinking “This is not Clinton Twp” and was greeted by a long black haired girl named Melissa who in just a few minutes introduced me to my new boss, Dawn. I was never asked so many questions in 15 minutes than I was meeting Dawn. But with all her questions, she made me feel extremely comfortable and welcome. Dawn kept offering me candy. I think she was trying to bribe me into staying. I was pretty scared. The following weeks, I became a fixture. I was beginning to get the hang of my new job and met some completely “random” and “unique” people.  People who are now my family (My very LARGE family). People who I respect, care for and love. There are days I want to go running for the hills, but there is no place I would rather be. I’m doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Some days I feel like I am not making a change in peoples live and then there are days that a simple “Thank You” or “You really helped me” or “You are silly as hell” make it all worth it. I love the work that I do and I know I will grow old and even grayer with all those “random” and “unique”  people.

(I have to add this tidbit) November 5^th 2013 I got to see Stacie Orricos “Stage It” concert. Best early Birthday present ever! Ya’ll know how much I love my Stacie! (Plus her few singles released this year have been on repeat).

Fall 2014:

This past week we lost the Matriarch of the family, Grandma Doris. I couldn’t properly put into words what she meant to our family. Our world lost a great deal when she left, but in her absence we will gain lessons to be learned. Grandma Doris is the reason why I have my DeCoopman family (and the other grandparents/parents). Mama D and Papa D are the parents people wish to have. I got damn lucky coming into this family. I mean real lucky. The whole family welcomed me with open arms and it showed this week during our hours of mourning. We are a family. Dysfunctional, but family. Mama D gave us some of Grandma Doris’ mementos that Mike and I will cherish till the end of time.

Mike is already starting Christmas (I like to act like I am annoyed, but secretly (not so secretly) I love it). Mike set up our “Grandma Doris” Christmas tree and we will reflect years that have passed and years to come every time we set it up.

My sister and niece still deal with the loss of Ronnie daily. They have grown and over come so much. I am extremely proud of the both of them. Even on their darkest days, they still have faith and believe everything will be ok.

Jax is growing into an amazing young boy, who loves his big brother Joey. Ang and Chris are engaged and doing quite well.

Melissa married Tom and now reside in AZ. She’ll be home for a visit in 3 weeks! I can’t freaking wait!!!  I’ll get out there sooner than later. Plus my brother Joe, Kim, their children and Heather (who I reunited with right before I started my new job) live there so I can kill a couple birds with 1 stone.

I’m still with the Bingo Hall. And I still love it 20 years later. Bonus I get to spend time with people who I love and cherish.

Anddddd I turned 34 yesterday. I can’t believe it either! This has got to be one of the best Birthdays I have ever had. I received so much love (and gifts) from the people I love the most. It was a good way to start my “New Year”. Wow, 34! I feel old, but I look real good. LOL!

Through the ups & downs, happy and sad times. I am here. Through the grace of God or my angels (Mom, Joe, Grandma Austin, Eric and so on) or because it was just meant to be. I am here. Living, learning, loving, growing (shrinking in size) and everything in between. I am here.

This was a good start for my long hiatus of not writing in such a long time.

I promise I won’t wait too long to write again. I gotta fill these chapters for Mike and I so when we are really old (I’ll still look real good) we can reflect on the life we have LIVED!

Till next time…

Ciao,

Nick xo

So Simple to me...

I've been wanting to blog for a while. After thinking long and hard today about what I wanted to post. I felt I needed to finally write about a certain time in my life that many people
don’t know about.

I’ve shared so much over the years. And it’s time to tell my story, to tell my truth.

I was talking to a dear friend today and I told her this story. I thought to myself “This is what I am going to write about tonight, this is going to be my writing inspiration”.

So that’s exactly what I am going to do.

This may be long and windy. Hopefully by the end of it, you will understand some things.

Especially my idolization of Stacie Orrico.

Many people don’t know about this time in my life. I didn’t want to be exposed, didn’t want my secret to be told.

That was then, this is now.

I am at the point in my life that I have nothing to hide, I have grown, soared beyond any mountain. Throw any wrench in my path, and I’ll find the right direction. Tell me I can't do something, and I'll prove you wrong.

I am secure, confident and I know who I am. I make no apologies for it either.

It's my story to tell.

2008.

One of the hardest,darkest and saddest times of my life.

See, I am really good with putting a smile on my face. I can honestly say, I have perfected it.

During this time, my life was spiraling down fast. I felt as though I lost the battle, I lost pretty much all of my faith, hated myself and was on the verge of something really bad. I had nothing, so therefore I had nothing to lose.

It wasn't just one thing, it was a spiral of unfortunate events.

Sitting in a dark basement, sewage spilling from the drain hole, dirt, grime, sadness, depression.
That was my days and nights when I wasn't with my best friends or with my brother and his family. I sought solace wherever I could find it. Too scared to leave and way too dumb, I stayed.

Until one night when I had enough. I was planning my great escape. I knew I was done and it was time for me to go. I would do whatever I had to do. I was ready, right? That was until the next day, my car died. Along with my hopes to get away. So again, I stayed.

Like I said, I am really good with that smile. Pretty convincing, huh?

The things I endured that year I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In the matter of months, I lost alot. I lost myself respect, dignity and my future. I didn't know what was next for me, but I knew it wouldn't be good (then).

I started sleeping in my office, afraid to go home and face whatever was going to be thrown at me. I stayed in my office for a couple weeks. Evening staff assumed I was working late, I wasn't.

I was living in my office.

Shower before anyone showed up, set the alarm on my cell phone, make sure I hid my stuff and was ready before anyone could find out.

That could only go on for so long.

I stayed at my best friends a few times throughout that time, but she was starting a new life. She
was getting married. I couldn’t interfere with that. I couldn’t burden her with my problems.

I took to inviting myself to my brothers. I didn’t have a car, I didn’t have anywhere clean to sleep, andI needed to be with people who loved me. I stayed there as long as I could, or shall I say till I was “forced” to come home, I can’t even call it home. It was pure hell. I was promised “Change” and all that butterflies and cupcake bullshit, and yet I believed it and it never changed.

I endured more and more and more and more. I stayed 3 more months. Hoping for change, praying for God to make it all stop, wishing on stars that never came through. I needed a fork
stuck in me, because I was DONE.

Problems got worse, words became harsher and a hand around your throat will make you want to do something, something that you can’t take back.

There I was sitting in that dark, sewage filled, depressing, sad ass basement. I thought “What can I do to make this all stop?” Lots of things ran through my head, things that I don’t even want to remember. I sat there, staring down at my little Memphis, crying. I thought “What if I did “this”, did “that”. My mind was racing a million miles a minute. I had to make all the silent noise stop. I laid on the sofa bed, and I turned on my MP3 player. For some reason unknown to me. Maybe
it was fate, maybe it was Gods words, maybe it was just something that had to happen. But my MP3 player played the song “So Simple” by Stacie Orrico, over and over again. As I laid there contemplating my future, the lyrics struck me and I had to really pay attention to the song. I had to keep rewinding it. It became really clear to me. The lyrics stuck out, like a light from above.

“I’ve Got one (one) life (life) to live (live)
It's only what you make it (make it)
Every new day's a chance worth takin

True to life, true to me
The way it's got to be
So simple, so simple, so simple
Live to love, love to be
Absolutely free
(so simple, so simple, simple)

So Simple to me”

I knew what I had to do…

The next day I made my plan. In the afternoon I called my brother and sister in-law and told them I was leaving and I needed some place to live. They said, “Absolutely”. I called my best friend that night and told her to be at my house the next morning, that I was done and
I was moving out. She doubted me, I mean I would have too. I had let this go on and I left and always went back. This time, I was done. I grabbed my Mom’s ashes and I packed my clothes, camera, cell phone, memory box, a few boxes and my Chihuahua. I left everything else behind. It was ALL mine. The house, the furniture, the TV. Everything, it was all mine and it didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t need any of it. I didn’t want to fight for it, I didn’t want to leave worse that I already was.

That was my final straw.

I took all I could take and I wasn’t taking anymore. The best decision I ever made. If it weren’t
for the people in my life, Memphis and a random song that popped on my MP3 player, I may not be here to write this.

2012.

I am not that person anymore.

I don’t know who he was or where he went, but that person is gone. That scared, weak, depressed, ugly and unsure person is gone.

Today, I am self assure and I don’t doubt myself. I say what comes to my mind and if people don’t like it. Well, that’s their problem.

I will never let another human being, thing, or bad decision change who I am, and make me take the most precious thing to me for granted ever again.

My life.

I took back my life. I make my life, what I want it to be. I am reminded to never forget that time, but to grow from it. To never let those awful things happen to me again, to remember my roots
and remain the person that I am destined to be. I am reminded every time I look at the tattoo on my left wrist.

“So Simple”

I have the most undeniably, remarkable and phenomenal people in my life. My partner, my family and my friends. They make me a better person, they make me want more in life and they give me hope.

Now you all know why that one song and that singer mean so much to me. If it weren’t for that song, that singer and a little Chihuahua named Memphis.

Like I said, I wouldn’t be here to type this.

All my love,

Nick xoxo

P.S I learned how to smile again, haven’t faked it since 08 <3

Chicago or Bust...

The girls and I went on our trip to Chicago, it was
seriously an adventure.

289 miles, 4 days, 3 best friends and LOTS of laughing.

What kind of shenanigans could we get into?

These will be a bunch of mini stories of our trip.

“No Coat”

Well, it started at a truck stop somewhere in Michigan (I am
no GPS). Before we stopped I told Megan that she could use my coat as a blanket
as she was cold, she looked through the backseat and couldn’t find it. Melissa
decided to stop at a truck stop, so we could look in the trunk and pee. Melissa
checked the trunk, guess what? No, coat! Yea, I totally forgot my coat at home
in my kitchen. I can seriously be a blonde at times. I did purchase a seriously
cute coat in Chicago and it only cost me $30.00. I do love a good sale.

“That sounds good”

We stopped in Michigan City to gas up and get something to
eat. We decided to eat at Steak N Shake. Melissa ordered a #1 (Wisconsin) and I
ordered a #3 (Frisco) Megan says in the deepest, manly voice “That sounds good”
she was so serious. After laughing, Melissa asks Megan “What do you want Megan?”
what does Megan order?? She says “I’ll just have chili”. I guess you had to be
there, it is one of our new sayings. “That sounds good”. LMAO!

“Roof for 11 points”

We were relaxing in our hotel room. Melissa was on her
laptop, Megan was on her phone and I was on Melissa’s Kindle. Megan was playing
Words with Friends, I noticed Melissa had the app on her Kindle and decided to
play it (I have never played it). The only word I could make was ROOF for 11
points. I thought that’s a good number, I submit it and Megan starts laughing
hysterically. Melissa asked her why she was laughing and Megan says “Nick just
got 11 points for ROOF on Words with Friends, YOUR Words with Friends”. Melissa
yelled at me to get off her Words with Friends and to NEVER in my life play it
again. I said “I got you 11 points and it was a double word!” Melissa proceeds
to tell me that I suck at it and that I need to learn how to play the game.

“Portillos and a tray”

We ate at the Chicago famous “Portillos”. Lots of famous
people have dined there and the owner is friends with some big names. Well, we
order our food and have to wait at a window to pick up our food. I notice that
Tess and Melissa received their food in a bag, so when I got my food that
waitress lady asked me “To go or here?” I said “To go, please”, Megan RUDELY
interrupts us and says we are eating here, so I say ok and the lady puts my
food on a tray the size of a XXXL pizza. I look at Megan and say “Seriously”.
Megan starts laughing at me. We sit down at the table and of course Megan is
laughing and when Melissa and Tess seen me with this BIG ASS TRAY, they start
laughing and ask me “Why do you have that tray?” I tell them Megan told the
cashier that we were eating here. I was the only moron in the whole place with
this tray and looked like a huge fatty. Thanks Megan.

I LOVE WOODFIELD MALL! ENOUGH SAID!

“Jordan”

Friday was the night of the concert (the reason for the
trip)in Joliet (I guess if you are a local you reference it as Toilet. The
concert was decent. The concert in Detroit was 100% better. We did have a blast
though. We were literally 10 people from the stage. Jordan girls are CRAZY! The
room was packed and I could barely scratch my butt if I needed too. Melissa was
in her daze again. Every time she sees that man, her eyes glaze over and she
has the smile of a child on Christmas morning. Every conversation consisted of
the word “What” because after the show we were all deaf.

“Downtown with a bean, old man, OPRAHHHHHHHH and getting
jacked for $20.00 bucks”

We started Saturday morning in down town Chicago. Melissa
and Megan have been there MANY times and usually park in the same lot. Well Melissa
had seen a lot that said $13.00, and decided to park there. This guy walks in
front of the car and asks us if we want to park there. Melissa says yes and
hands him a $20.00, expecting $7.00 in change. Melissa asks the guy for her
change and he tells her it’s $20.00 and the $7.00 is for Illinois taxes and
blah blah blah and slides a parking ticket in the window. We proceed to the
parking garage and see a sign that says “Please pay at the office when leaving
and that they are an AUTOMATED service and not to pay humans”. Well aren’t we about
dumb?, LOL. The manager of the parking garage said it happens a lot and
credited us for being ganked. My only desire was to go to the BEAN. It’s this
huge mirror shaped BEAN in the middle of Millennium Park right on Michigan Ave.
We went to the BEAN and took some pictures. I was a happy boy. The entire time
we were down town I yelled “Opppprrraaaahhhhhh”, I never did find her. We also
ran into an old man in a kilt. I never got his name, so I named him Grandpa
Larry. I asked him if I could take a picture with him. Of course he obliged.
Grandpa Larry seen that we had Starbucks cups in our hands and proceed to tell
us that he drinks Starbucks 4 times a day or 4 times and hour, I was too busy
pondering asking him what he wore under his kilt. Chicago is an awesome city. I
can’t wait to go with Mike.

“50 questions with two 7 year olds”

Ya’ll know I like to ask kids the weirdest questions, so I ask
Makayla (Tess’s boyfriend’s daughter) and Valerie (Danielle’s daughter) if they
have jobs. Valerie proceeds to tell me she works for T-Mobile. Danielle
explained that Valerie thinks she works at T-Mobile and was fired because
Danielle grounded Valerie from her bike and Valerie couldn’t drive to work. She’s
7, how the hell does she know about T-Mobile? I asked them so many questions
that I exhausted myself. Then we played school and I got A+++++++++++ forever
for my artist skills and that I could spell my own name. I am never having kids
=)

“Boys Town”

The girls and I decided to go to Boys Town (the gay
district). We started our night at “Circuit”. It was a cute bar, but there were
100’s of Latino men and they only played Latino Techno. We danced a little bit
and decided it was time to find a bar with music we could understand. Megan
used the bathroom and seen a sign while exiting the bathroom. It basically said
“Circuit, Largest Gay Latino Bar on Halsted”. Of course we had to find the non English
gay bar. We left there and went to “Hydrate” or as I like to call it “Hydrant” obviously
because I can’t read (lol). It was a cool bar. One of the Drag Queens is a contestant
on RuPauls Drag Race. It was a really chill atmosphere, other than the blood
all over the floor. The bar had dancers, and I talked Megan into tipping one of
the guys. It took some pushing, but she did it. Megan walks up to the dance box
and asks the guy “Can I give you a dollar?” the stripper grabs his waist band
to let Megan give him the dollar. What does Megan do? She sticks the dollar in
his SOCK, yes SOCK. The SOCK attached to his leg that his FOOT is in. The
stripper had to sit down because he was laughing his ass off. Melissa and I
died laughing. Megan walks back to us and the stripper yells “Hey Blondie” so
Megan turns around and he mooned her. That’s what she gets for tipping him in
his SOCK. We had a blast in Boys Town. It is such an openly gay, friendly and
super clean area. NOTHING like Detroit bars (sorry Detroit, but its true).

We had MANY more funny stories, but it would take me another
hour to write them all out. We had an amazing time and I am so blessed to have
shared this experience with my best friends. I can’t wait to go back! Thank you
Melissa, Megan, Tess and Danielle for an amazing weekend. Lord knows I won’t
ever forget it. SENTSATIONAL time I say! (You had to be there for our other
*NEW word).

Till next time,
Nick xoxo

C'est la vie 2011

I know I haven't blogged much over this past year.

This year was very mute, compared to previous years. Don't get me wrong some pretty phenomenal things happened this year. I just feel, I didn't give it my all. Plus I feel like this year was wrapped into a lot of negative things. I want to end this year on a positive note, and make sure my next chapter in life is more positive and something I can look back on in 50 years and I say "Yea I did that" and have no apologies.

I am not going to "try" to make change, I am going to make change. Like a good friend told me not to long ago "When you say try, you're already setting yourself up for disappointment". I need to be the change that I want. I need to focus on the things that really matter. I need to focus on the people that matter. I need to be the person I know I can be. I am not settling.

2012 is going to be a year of defining. Going above and beyond, and not worry about falling, because with falling you have to pick yourself back up. I am tired of being scared of change. If anything "change" should be natural for me, it should be a close friend. So why I am so afraid?

2012 is going to be the year I emancipate ME. I have to focus on the directions I want my life to go. I have to focus on mine and Mikes future and make sure that the positive choices we make together will benefit us. Even if I have to struggle and strive, I know I can do it. I was uniquely made. I've been to hell and back, with a smile on my face. I am a survivor, I am a strong minded person, I am more than the clothes I wear, the bag I carry, the things I have.

Now don't get me wrong, I will always be silly, I will always be upfront and I will always be me. I feel at this age, the things that mattered 10 years ago, don't matter now. Some of those things never mattered at all. I am like a kid at a toy store, I don't know what I want, I just know I want something. Well those things are starting to make more sense to me. Grandma was right "With age, comes wisdom and what is in the dark will come to light".

I have expectations for 2012. For myself, my loved ones and the new chapter I am ready to begin.

No more fear of flying. It's now or never.

Plus (I know I say this in many blogs) I have the best spouse, friends and family a person could ever ask for. There would be NO ME, without them!

I will end this blog with blessings to you all. I wish the best for you all. Hard times will come, and hard times will go. Lessons will be learned. You may fall, but you will get back up. And if you need a helping hand, I will be there.

I love you all.

Nick

p.s My writing bug is back. Thanks to my "supporters" and my readers <3

Day 31~ 31 Day Challenge~ FINAL Day

Day 31~ 31 Day Challenge~ FINAL Day

Post a picture of yourself on the 31^st day, and explain how you feel.Today

I am feeling pretty good!

Last night my cousin sent me a picture of my Mom(I received it today) . She looked so beautiful. My cousin Janie said the picture is from when my Mom was 18-19 and it was taken in my Grandparents back yard. I don’t have many pictures of my mom, so when I receive one, it’s like a rescued treasure. Mike is going to blow it up for me. We have his Parents and my Mom’s graduation pictures, we’re going to buy some really nice frames and hang them in our home. We are moving forward in our future together.

The next few months are going to be hectic and we have a lot to get done. It will all be worth it. It’s scary, but I am staring it dead in the eyes. Change (for me) is extremely hard, but as I get older it is getting easier and easier. Plus I will miss Mama D and Papa D tremendously, but how Mama D and Grandma talk every night, we will make a similar ritual =)

Celebrating my BFF’s birthday this weekend. Mike and I have a lot to do around the house. We have a busy weekend planned.

I bought 5 pound of bananas. LOL!

This Challenge was a blessing in disguise. I am back to writing. My creative juices are flowing. I am going to write, write and write some more.

Until Next Time,

Nick xoxo

p.s Stay Tuned

Day 30~ 31 Day Challenge

Day 30~ 31 Day Challenge

Your highs and lows of the month of your 31 day Challenge.

I would have to honest say that I didn’t have any lows for this Challenge. I am really proud of myself for doing this Challenge and completing every task, every day. I am honestly happy for this Challenge, because I feel like I can really get back into my writing. It was like I had lost my mojo when it came to it.

My best friend had my previous blog turned into a book for my 30^th birthday. I’ve literally read it like 4 times. It is one of my most prized possessions. I mean every word I have ever written in my blog is in a BOOK! How cool is that? After reading it and re-reading it, I was in shock (with myself) that I hadn’t really blogged in almost a year. I feel like I let myself down and that I missed documenting my amazing adventures. That was then, this is now. I have a new outlook, new adventures and more of my story to tell. So stay tuned, you never know what will happen with me!

All my love,

Nick xoxo

Day 29~ 31 Day Challenge

Day 29~ 31 Day Challenge

What are your goals for the next 30 days?

1. Continue writing

2. Continue losing weight

3. Try to quit smoking

4. Receive my CNA License

5. Organize more things in my home

6. Spend some time with my peeps

I am not setting myself up for failure. I will put my best foot forward. If I slip, I will pick myself up and try again. Never quit, quitting!

My very best,

Nick xoxo